Life Changes

Wow… is seriously the first word that comes to mind when I think of all the things our family has overcome in the past couple years. From a deployment, to marriage, to having our first child, to finding out my husband had a brain tumor that almost took his life, to getting pregnant with our second child, to finding out our first born is autistic, to finding out my husband is getting medically retired from the Air Force. PHEW! If I could pick a family to receive the “Most Deserving Family Award” (if that even existed), it would be us. It’s been a crazy ride. But something good has got to come out of it, right? I believe so. I’ve always believed that, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON… and in the midst of all the craziness, we are blessed.

When I say everything happens for a reason, this is what I mean: In the summer of 2009, Andrew came back from his first and last deployment in Iraq. A few weeks later, we got married. We started our new life together in Las Vegas. I was a new RN graduate, so I decided to attempt the NCLEX (National Council Licensure Examination)… and I failed. I probably failed FOR A REASON. A month later, I found out I was pregnant with Jordan J. Around the time Jordan was supposed to be born in August 2010, Andrew was supposed to deploy for his 2^nd time, but he didn’t… all thanks to his awesome boss Duane Cruz who did everything in his power to keep him behind JUST so he wouldn’t miss the birth of his first child. Thank you Cruz! Your decision ultimately saved his life. Jordan turned 3 months in November and I was lucky enough to convince Andrew to make a trip home to Florida so our families could meet our boy. We hop on a plane to go home, a few days later… Andrew suddenly gets ill. It took THREE Emergency Room trips and his twin brother Anthony to demand a brain scan before doctors finally found the culprit – a benign pituitary tumor. It was the size of a golf ball and was on the verge of rupturing. Andrew was quickly flown to Shands Hospital in Gainesville, Florida where they removed the tumor piece by piece through his nose! This tumor could have taken his sight or worse, his life. But it was successfully removed, thank the Lord!  Keep in mind, Andrew was supposed to be deployed during all this… but he wasn’t, and THIS was the REASON.

So months pass. We move to Scott AFB in Illinois. Jordan was about one years old and growing fast. Life was great; things seemed perfect. So we decided we wanted to try for another baby soon. We wanted our kids to be close in age about 2 years apart. My brother Joe and I were only 1 year apart and we were so close. We did everything together; okay yeah he may have ripped the heads off my barbies haha, but he was my best friend. And I wanted that for my kids. I found out I was pregnant when Jordan was about 17 months. When baby #2 would be born, Jordan would be a little over 2 years old… and that’s exactly what we wanted. One month later at Jordan’s 18 month well-check, we find out he’s behind on his development, particularly his speech. He got referrals for speech and developmental therapy and a referral to meet with a developmental pediatrician. We didn’t think much of it; we figured he would be a late talker. So he got speech therapy (ST) and developmental therapy (DT). The Developmental Therapist recommended he be evaluated by an Occupational Therapist because he showed signs of SPD or Sensory Processing Disorder. He had issues with certain food textures or even textures in general. He hated anything sticky or gooey and never wanted to be messy. He didn’t want to touch play-doh or sand, etc. Basically, typical things that kids love… he didn’t. Occupational therapy (OT) knew right away he had SPD so we got that therapy too. Months pass, August comes around… it’s Jordan’s 2^nd birthday! We had an appointment to see the Developmental Pediatrician we had a referral for months ago soon after his 2^nd birthday. This doctor basically would evaluate Jordan for any signs of autism. She watched Jordan play and asked us questions. Then we got the news. I prepared myself mentally for it… Jordan has autism. I was surprised I handled the diagnoses so well. I’ve come to learn that the diagnoses was the easy part. It’s what comes after that’s the hardest…

Jordan qualified for a special therapy geared for children with autism – ABA or Applied Behavioral Analysis. A therapist came to our home and worked with Jordan Monday-Friday 3 hours a day! That’s a lot of therapy along with ST, DT & OT. But Jordan was making great improvements! ABA worked wonders. Don’t get me wrong, he’s not a talking machine now, but he’s said new words, new signs and just surprises us with his smart brain. He is SO smart, he even surprised his therapist. He still has a long way to go of course… but I like to focus on how far he’s come. Having a child with autism and SPD is not easy. Ever since we got the diagnoses, he’s learned a lot, but his autistic characteristics are becoming more apparent. It hurts our hearts to see, but we have to constantly remind ourselves that he can’t help it and that his brain is wired to think differently. Please understand that autism is not a disease. It’s a developmental disorder that affects language, social interaction and imaginative play. We basically have to help Jordan learn. He can get overwhelmed easy – that, along with having trouble talking AND sensory issues, can EASILY put a child with autism into a major meltdown. So next time you are out and see a young child throwing a tantrum, please don’t judge. Who knows, that child may be autistic. It’s hard to not ask God, why? Why us? Why Jordan? But I know that God wouldn’t give us anything we couldn’t handle. God is good and His intentions are good. Everything happens for a reason right? I may not know why right now, but maybe I will later J.  All we can do for now, is try our best to help Jordan succeed… and that’s what we’ll do!

Now if that wasn’t enough already, throw in a newborn baby two months later! Haha! Our sweet second boy Jaxon entered the world in October 2012. He brings us so much joy, it’s amazing. But can you believe a couple weeks after he was born, he was hospitalized for a Staph infection on his skin?! Poor baby was miserable. His umbilical stump had fallen off early and the skin around it was so red and flaky; he got blisters in his diaper area near his groin.. it was awful! Doctors said that was RARE for infants to get, let alone a newborn, and they couldn’t even give me the cause. But he got the right antibiotics and was good as new. Matter of fact, he’s a happy, smiling, cooing 2 ½ month old now J. God really does make these little human beings perfect in their own way. I am so excited to see what God has in store for Jordan and Jaxon. I pray for nothing but good things for them.

Am I done yet? By golly, NO. Soon after Jaxon was born, we FINALLY hear the results of Andrew’s Medical Evaluation Board (MEB). Andrew is getting medically retired. His brain tumor incident changed Andrew forever. He gets headaches/migraines on a daily basis, still to this day. His neurologist tried every pain medicine out there, and nothing helped. Overexertion only makes the pain worse. And because of the location of the tumor, Andrew has to take a couple hormone replacement medications every day for the rest of his life. I am happy that he is getting medically retired because his body just isn’t the same anymore. But I am also a little sad to say goodbye to the Air Force. I grew up a Navy Brat. So continuing the military lifestyle as an Air Force spouse only seemed right. It’s remarkable how many AMAZING people we’ve met along the way in such a short time. When it comes to the military, it doesn’t take a lifetime to make friends that you will have forever. These people become your brothers and sisters… they become family. I am so blessed to have witnessed and experience this kind of lifestyle and to have lived up to the title of a MILITARY SPOUSE. That term deserves to be respected and is definitely something to be proud of. There is NO OTHER job like it. Military spouses are the backbone to this country! They hold down the fort when their significant other is in harms way. They take care of the family. They endure months of loneliness and wait patiently and still hope and pray their loved one makes it back home safely. It is no wonder military spouses develop a special bond with other military spouses. It’s pretty amazing and I am going to miss it. BUT, you already know what I’m going to say right? EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!!! God has plans for our family… and it is leading us to the retiree/civilian life J. Thank you USAF and all the wonderful FAMILY that we’ve met. You all are the reason we are alive and well and will CONTINUE to be fine for the rest of our lives. We could not be more grateful.

Here’s to a new year, a new life & new beginnings <3